Սուրբ Հիշատակներ Արմէն
Holy Memories by Armen
When I was a child, I heard in Sunday school that Jesus Christ is everywhere. As I was playing in the basement one day by myself, I felt unsafe and remembered what I heard, that Jesus Christ is everywhere. But how is Jesus everywhere I asked? I imagined in my mind that his body was of infinite in number and that he was everywhere like this. This was my first spiritual experience. From that day on I continued to think about Jesus Christ being in all places. As I matured, my vision and understanding of God and Christ evolved. However, I will always remember when I first thought of Christ’s presence everywhere.
When I was 7 years old, I remember watching Passion of Christ with my grandmother, aunt, and family. And from that day on I wanted to be just like him and die as he did. I understood something about the crucifixion that day that punctured deeply into my heart and soul, the sense of Jesus Christ strengthened and I sensed him with familiarity.
My imitation of Jesus Christ stopped in high school around 10th grade. For two years I questioned religion without becoming a denier of Christianity.
I searched every science, philosophy, spirituality, and religion. I traveled across the earth and explored and discovered that there is great futility in not using one’s mind and thinking.
I began to reason that the absurdity of life is too great without the love of our crucified Christ. Our Creator died, and his crucifixion is love.
One day, I found a picture of myself at the age of 4 with my mother, it was in a box that contained hair from those years. I began to weep as I sought to become innocent as a child. As I looked at myself, I began to weep as if for the first time, knelt in prayer as my tears began to fall on the ground. In these moments, I felt the innocence of my being, the purity of Christ, and the possibility of a return to the innocence of Eden.
It was then that Return was created and composed. In three hours, I composed the greatest piece of music I will ever create and will ever hear. It was a return to me, a return to Christ, and to the innocence of my birth, my childhood, and my human nature.
I baptized myself that day with hands full of water letting it run on my head. I placed my childhood gold cross on my neck and returned and moved forth to live on earth that was like heaven.
Two years later, I began to practice the Jesus Prayer. For the first two minutes I practiced, it was holy. However, it was almost two years later until it felt like that again. I tried and gave up over and over. I resolved for a year to master it and gave hours to master this in praying. I soon realized that I could also use other prayers. I discovered while reading the Book of Hours of our Armenian Apostolic Church that there is a prayer to pray at all times.
Յամենայն ժամու աղաչանք իմ այս են. ի մեղաց իմոց սո՛ւրբ արա զիս, Տէ՛ր, եւ յօտարէն պահեա՛ զծառայս Քո, մարդասէ՛ր Տէր:
At all times, my holy cry of longing is this. Cleanse me of my sins, Lord, and from foreign enemies guard your servant, Lover of mankind.
I said once, that constant activity in the heart is sainthood. To repeat prayers, over and over, with meaning, concentration, and above all a holy intention, is the greatest way to sainthood. It is constant occupation and ceaseless remembrance of Christ, our holy sweetness.
Everywhere ceaselessly practice Jesus Prayer, or a ceaseless prayer as all prayers are not ceaseless but some become empty and cease.
St. Nersess 24 Prayers is holy, requiring more focus and the mind’s comprehension. Be reverent towards God and offer prayers in holiness.
Choose Աստուած, քաւեա զիս զմեղաւորս, and other prayers to pray ceaselessly in holiness.
And stay virgin, never defile your body. It takes 1,000 hours or a life of suffering to make holy an impure body and mind, but 10 min to make holy a virgin man and woman.
Become a king, knight, or saint. The first is the hardest, the last one the easiest, the middle one the most important of all, making the first impossible and the last martyrdom. Choose one, or each one, and become a true believer. Rule in life and bring the kingdom of God on earth. Fight until your last breath for the will of God to be done in your life and on earth, and to protect and to love and to be one with Christ, our Chosen one, and with the one chosen for you before your own birth.
By Armen Leo Artashesian